Regret. It’s a heavy word. Small yet mighty. I’ve learned a lot about regret in the last few years and up until recently have used it to help me make decisions. Will I regret doing this? Will I regret not doing this? Of course “this” being a full range of options from going on a trip on my own, spending money that maybe I should not spend, going on a date, not going on a date, tucking away and watching Netflix for the day, trying something new, moving out of my comfort zone.
As I lay in my bed this morning, listening to the rain hit my window, watching the rain fall through the leaves of the tree, I felt regret wash over me. Yesterday I was scheduled for my long run in my half marathon training program. My intention was to run for an hour, and then meet up with a friend and run/walk 30 minutes with her. All totalled, it would have added up to my 16km goal. A late night out had me a bit off kilter so instead I chose to just run the half an hour with my friend, with the hopes of running today, fitting it in before the rain came.
Yesterday was beautiful. While I spent the afternoon with my daughter in the Old Port, I had a niggling feeling that I should have done my run, that I should be doing my run. I tried to push the feeling away. Embrace the special time with my daughter. Recognize that it was priceless.
With the raining pouring down, and the temperatures having plummeted to autumn levels, here I sit, in one of my favourite places. Enjoying a vanilla rooibos latte, an almond croissant, I take advantage of my creative energy and write. Not run.
At the beginning of this year I started the Y.O.U. Collective life coach certification program. Becoming a life coach had been suggested to me a few times in the past. It would be a good addition to my fitness instructing portfolio, and would likely improve my teaching. Yes, I used my “regret game” principles in helping me make the decision. Would I regret taking a year of my life to embark on this new adventure? I doubted it. Would I regret spending the money on this course? No. Would I regret learning and growing? Absolutely not. I had the time, I had the money, and most importantly, I had the desire.The timing was finally right.
One of our first modules for the Y.O.U. Collective was to identify our core values and our core desired feelings; what drives us, helps us to get out of bed in the morning, how do we want to feel each and every day.
I had my own personal breakthrough a few weeks ago with our module on Abundance & Money. And like most breakthroughs, most “a-ha moments”, they are so, so simple. Small yet mighty. If we use our core values to guide us on our money/spending decisions, we will take steps towards abundance and get closer to our goals. While the information imparted was directly related to money, saving, budgets, I quickly saw that I could use this practice in all areas of my life.
Making decisions with my core values as the driving force helps align me to my vision, what I want my life to look like. Using my core values pushes me closer and closer to being where I want to be. While it feels very similar to using the “regret game” to help make decisions, it is different; lighter, positive, empowering.
Instead of feeling regret about not running yesterday, I choose to reflect on my decisions and how they relate to my core values; Relationships, Health, Freedom, Creativity, and Gratitude. Yesterday I ran. While shorter than the plan, it supported my values of Health and Gratitude. I ran with a friend which contributes to my values of Relationships and Gratitude. I spent the afternoon with my 16 year old daughter. I know these days will get fewer and farther between, so Gratitude was overflowing. Yesterday was full of feeling connected, one of my core desired feelings.
Like all journeys, we may encounter detours. We get a little lost. But if we keep let our core values guide us, be our compass, not only will we get back on track, but maybe along the way we’ll discover something new.
What are your core values? How do you want to feel? Do you allow your core values and core desired feelings guide you everyday? I have a few complimentary coaching sessions available for those of you who are ready to take the leap into living your best life, guided by your core values. Contact me to set up your appointment to start living your best life!